What exactly was wrong with the spies’ report? They were sent to scout the Land of Israel and report what they saw. Much of what they said was factually true. So where did they go wrong?
Imagine someone calls you for information about a boy for a shidduch. You say, “He’s extremely intelligent, kind, and sociable, but he comes from a broken home.” That one word, “but,” changes the entire message. It makes the listener feel that everything positive you said is outweighed by the negative.
The spies did something similar. They began by praising the Land, describing its incredible produce, but then said, “However, the people are strong.” According to the Ramban, their sin was not simply in reporting facts, but in the way they presented them. Their words transformed an objective report into a message of despair: the Land may be wonderful, but we can never conquer it.
This teaches us how powerful our words can be. Even when we say something positive, adding “but” can completely undermine it.
So be careful when giving compliments. Instead of saying, “You’re a great person, but you’re difficult,” try separating the criticism from the compliment.
Sometimes, one small word can change the entire message.