Why is the way we speak sometimes just as important as what we say?
In this week's parsha, Miriam and Aharon spoke lashon hara about Moshe. Although their intentions were not malicious, G-d became angry with them and rebuked them. Yet when G-d addressed them, He began gently: “Please hear My words.” The Sifsei Chachamim explains that even in His anger, G-d spoke softly because harsh words would not have been heard.
When someone feels attacked, they become defensive. Instead of listening to the message, they focus on protecting themselves. If G-d chose gentle words when speaking to Miriam and Aharon, how much more carefully should we speak to our spouses, friends, colleagues, and others.
King Solomon teaches, “A soft answer turns away wrath.” A harsh word can escalate an argument, while a gentle word can calm even intense anger.
We often think that speaking louder makes our message stronger. But the opposite is frequently true:
The louder the word, the quieter it is heard.